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| Comedy: "ATC Scientific Research Team" Proves Theory of Evolution! |
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Posted on July 16, 2009 at 01:00:06 EST
Ever since Charles Darwin's work, The Origin of Species, has been published, there has been a long and arduous battle between religious groups and proponents of the Theory of Evolution. The religious groups have alleged that the Theory of Evolution has not been fully proven, that it is really more of a hypothesis than a theory and that evolution of one species into another (new species) has never been witnessed on any significant scale (with only variation in species being witnessed). Indeed, they were right – until today! Professors Stalfos Conner and Benyamin B, both employed by the Anti-Terrorism Coalition (ATC), have conducted a study on 99% of the human population. Nicknamed "sheeple" or just "sheep" by the research team, these specimens have been documented to have undergone a drastic change over the course of a very short period of time. In fact, so drastic is this change that it actually demonstrates that evolution progresses much faster than previously thought! The ATC research team looked at three major events that took place over the past 1400 years and observed the following: In 622 A.D., sheeple could only understand "Allah Akbar!" In 1933 A.D., sheeple could only understand "Heil Hitler!" In 2008 A.D., sheeple were able to understand "Yes We Can!" It's quite easy to observe: the rallying cries "Allah Akbar" and "Heil Hitler" are both made up of two words, while the rallying cry "Yes We Can" is made up of – get this – THREE words! Sheeple have finally evolved to comprehend three words! Unfortunately, it's highly unlikely that sheeple will ever develop the ability to comprehend four words by GCT (Gas Chamber Time), leave alone by ToI (Time of Invasion). The ATC research team has calculated that by that time, it is extremely highly probable that the world will have ceased to exist – or that it will be inhospitable to humans due to extremely high levels of radiation.
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